Lessons for our children to learn as we explore rural towns

Two and a half years ago, our family moved to India. During the Durga Puja and Holi religious festivals, we fly to West Bengal every fall and spring to visit my wife's family. Though we enjoy seeing the Durga pandals in Kolkata and throwing colours while visiting Bankura's family, some of our most memorable moments are in the ancestral home village of my wife, Shaltora.

A visit is like taking a trip back in time to Shaltora. The family of my wife can trace their ancestry back 15 centuries, to the village itself's roots. This is where we leave the hustle and bustle of city life in Delhi for a slower, but no less dynamic, retreat to Shaltora's rural way of life. I'm reminded of how important it is for all of us to experience village life with our children and family by sitting down for my first cup of chai on the step of the small family courtyard where birds sing and sunlight falls in slanted beams through overhead tree branches.

The following are 8 lessons that I find myself focusing on this year during Holi.

1- Here's where our food comes from-

To appreciate where our food comes from is one of the best lessons that the village can teach our children and us. We are surrounded on both sides of the car by fields of green rice paddies as we drive off the paved road onto the gravel road leading to Shaltora. This is the first time that our daughter knows that at most every meal, the white rice she eats comes from the same green plant that she now watches us slowly as we drive. We will then take a walk through these fields, show her where the rice grows on the farm, and describe the steps required to turn the rice she sees on the plant into the rice she eats off her plate. Never again would she eat rice the same way.

2- How good air smells like- 

Sometimes, people ask us how we enjoy living in Delhi. Though we love modern conveniences, culture, and beautiful parks, Delhi's dangerous air is our biggest complaint. We note how the air smells clean and much different than it does in Delhi after arriving as a family in Shaltora. I can automatically relax my core, and I naturally start to breathe deeper. In Delhi, on more dangerous days, we must constantly remind ourselves to keep the doors locked, to check the air quality before going outside, and to wear a face mask. By comparison, we can relax, enjoy the clean air in Shaltora, and use this opportunity to teach our daughter her first lessons about what pollution is and how pollution leads to the poor quality of Delhi's air. We can also show her in Shaltora why the air here is cleaner and why protecting the environment, particularly the trees and plants that clean the air, is important.

3- The sun rises and sets every day with the rhythms of the world-

Due to our work and school schedules in Delhi, we seldom allow ourselves to wake up naturally or go to bed with the sun rising and setting. Aligning our sleep schedule with the rise and setting of the sun can be a challenge at first, after arriving in Shaltora. But after a couple of nights in the village, when you finally wake up at first light, the morning arrives, more comfortable and relaxed than every day you can recall recently. I also enjoy waking up together as a family, hearing the same village activities in the morning, feeling the same chill in the early morning, and seeing the same light shift that signals the beginning of the day. We sometimes ascend the stairs to the top of the house in the evenings, or take a walk at night and enjoy the sunset together.

4- Home-cooked dishes, trying different recipes, and it all tastes better-

While we eat amazing Indian food regularly at our own home and in restaurants in Delhi, as a family, we agree that meals made at Shaltora's ancestral home are some of the best we've ever had. All our meals in the village are made with locally grown produce, with love and care, using the easiest and oldest methods. Food sources, such as goats, chicken and fish, are either raised locally or captured on the same day. Rice, herbs, and the bulk of the spices also come from our fellow villagers' gardens. And the Bengali dishes that we share are the same dishes shared by my wife's parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc. Our daughter is now seeing all these lessons unfold around her at this moment in time, from seeing first hand where the food sources come from in the village, to planning and cooking meals using much of the same techniques, generations of families have eaten together as a family on the same floor before.

5- In the village, our phones rarely work, and that's okay-  

Our reliance on our tablets and phones is never more evident than when we are in Shaltora. And we still survive our stay in the village somehow! I can only depend on my iPhone to tell me the time and take photos, one of the lessons I learned early on and, frankly, I seldom need to know the time. I'm a junkie of news, politics, and sports, so I still go through pains of withdrawal from feeling detached from my interests. But being in the village opens up and reminds me of my other interests, such as painting, cycling, or just seeing what's around me, such as watching a bird go through a tree looking for a snack. I'm curious again about how rice is processed in the village or how mustard seeds are pressed or how a single butane burner can cook an entire meal. Our most valuable lesson at Shaltora is that when our phones don't work, our commitment to our daughter and each other is less divided.

6- Jointly discovering the natural world-

Our lives at home are becoming normal, no matter where we are in the world. There are not even as many questions in Delhi about the places we go the things we do or the people we encounter. But our common experience dramatically shifts in Shaltora, in the natural world, and provides a new, shared learning opportunity. We also discover new places as we walk in the village and either make new friends or say hello to people we have just met on a previous visit. We also experience activities that we have never seen before as we explore the village, such as seeing a new funny-looking plant, or people washing and bathing in the pond, or a guy on a motorcycle with more than ten chickens hanging upside down by their feet across a bar somehow balanced across the front handlebars. Some crazy cool stuff, you know! A significant lesson I've learned on this trip is that this life is a million times more special than seeing something new with your kids, to answer their questions, to exchange thoughts, to be mesmerised by this beautiful world together and the chance to explore it together.

7- Color tossing, Holi celebration, and slowing down-

In Shaltora, there's a lot more to Holi than throwing coloured powder at your friends and relatives... even though it's one of the most pleasant activities! The Holi week involves regular religious rituals, a religious procession, theatrical events, fundraising for important causes, honouring community leaders and projects, and at the annual village mela perusing the food and toy stalls. Most of these events take place in the evening, in the surround-sound stereo of crickets, frogs, and drummers banging away to concentrate our attention, outside under the full moon of this year. These Holi events revolve around our day as a family plus visiting family, taking walks, eating meals, playing cards, and taking naps. The lesson we have learned as a family together is that the longer we remain in the village, the the clearer it becomes the more "doings" we don't need to fill our day, it's already filled with love and good, fun.

8- It is best to spend time with Didima in the village-

The chance to spend time with family in West Bengal was one of the advantages of my wife accepting a job move from Washington DC to India. "Didima" is my wife's mom, and she has Parkinson's disease, much like my grandfather. Although our daughter knows very little Bengali and Didima knows very little English, each time they see each other the bond they share gets stronger. Our daughter also gets to interact with older parents, hear about sickness and disability, and ask a million questions about the ageing process. However, on this trip, I realised that the amount of quality time our daughter was able to spend in the village with Didima is much more valuable than the time they spent together in other locations in the city or in the town. In contrast to how we spend our time together when we are all in Shaltora, the same statement holds true when I focus on how we spend time with the other family members who live in Bankura and Kolkata. The lesson we've discovered is that spending time together in the village is best because we are closer to nature in a relaxed and natural atmosphere with fewer distractions, no driving, and a common calendar of events.